"How blind I've been!"

"How blind I've been..." The famous word of Emma Woodhouse when she finally realizes her love for Mr Knightley.  How true those words are for me right now, now that God has revealed sins & wrong thinking that I had been blinded to.  How like Emma Woodhouse I exclaim "How blind I've been!"

We tend to always think we're right.  We think we know how everything should be. Even sometimes we think we "know" God's will.  I know I have thought that.  I've felt "so sure" something was right, and that it was "God's will for me."  The problem though is that our hearts are deceitful & wicked.  (Jeremiah 17:9).  I forgot to remember that four months ago when I started making so many decisions without really prayerfully considering them, and viewing them in light of God's Word.  But it felt right, I'd tell myself.  Where in God's Word does it say to trust our feelings? Nowhere.  Our feelings change so often, they can't be trusted, and generally they flow from our wicked deceitful hearts.  I didn't think of that four months ago.  I only thought of one thing; myself.  My preferences, the way I wanted my life to be, and the sad thing is I had deceived myself that it was "God's will for me."  Because of that I made many mistakes, and people who were dear to me got hurt due to my pride.  In the end though, I praise God for it all, because though I desperately wish nobody's hearts were hurt maybe that's what it took for me to see my prideful disobedient heart, and to run to Christ alone again for shelter....

^"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." - Romans 8:28

Romans 8:28 has been on my mind much lately, and God has used it mightily to calm my heart.  To think that through all the things that seem like utter chaos God is working everything together for His glory, and for the good of His children. I now even see plainly two ways that He is doing this, and maybe the future He will reveal to me even more ways He was going to use this "chaos"

First, being a "Titus 2 girl" isn't all about crafting, cooking, and cleaning. It's not, and if that becomes what it is all about, it most certainly is not Titus 2 woman-ish at all.  In fact, the prime focus should always being fearing and loving Christ.  It's all about Christ, His Word, what He's done, and glorifying Him with word, thought and deed.  All the crafting, cooking, and cleaning is great, but that is not the essence of the Titus 2 woman.  Alongside that was my decision in September to quit school.  In my "ideal world" I would be a stay at home daughter, being a helper to my "perfect" christian family.  However, that's not where God has me.  I made my decision to quit school based on an ideal of what I wished my life would be like.  My Dad wants me to go to school, it's important to him that I have a degree.  He told me he doesn't care if I never use it, but that he wants me to have it. And he's saying that out of love.  So not being in school, wasn't honoring to my parents.  Which wasn't honoring to God, because asking me to get a degree isn't asking  me to sin, it's just asking me to be in school. 

My conclusion is this, if I do not go back to school this spring to work on getting my degree, I would in fact be being a horrible example of a Titus 2 girl.  Since I'm not married I still have to submit to my Dad as one in authority over me.  I have to obey him, unless of course he asks me to sin.  At the end of the passage in Titus 2 it says "...that the Word of God may not be reviled."  If I'm not obeying my parents, and I claim to be a christian I'm certainly not being a good witness, or obeying the Lord.  So I praise God for revealing that to me that I may now obey Him by obeying my loving Dad. 

Second and shortly,  do not turn your foot to the left or to the right.  Especially when it comes to guys. 
"Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.  Put away from you crooked speech and put devious talk far from you. Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you.  Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure.  Do not swerve to the right or to the left; turn your foot away from evil." - Proverbs 4:23-27

"Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure".... think about things before you do them. 
When it comes to guys this is crucial.  The temptation to settle, to think "well they like me, so why not?", is strong.  Myself, and one of my best friends have learned all of that the hard way recently.  However, we both in the end are thankful to be able to learn from our mistakes, and that if it's God's will for us both to get married God has the perfect men out there for us.  We won't have to settle.  We won't have to turn to the right or to the left.  Until the time comes for us to meet, or if it never comes all the focus must be on Christ.  Who is the rock that I, and all His children must be built on.  Praise Him that He never lets go of His children! That He shows us in His love our sin & mistakes, so we can repent and press on! What an amazing Savior!
Do you know Him dear blogger world? If you do, may your love for Him grow continually!
With all that said, how I hope and pray to endevour to have less Emma Woodhouse moments of "how blind I've been!", by filling my heart and mind with God's Word, but when those moments come I will strive to always be thankful....
For His glory,
Willa