Dear friendly world of blogging,
I can scarcely believe I have only about a month left of summer before I go back to start my Junior year at Master's. I can honestly say that so far this summer has been far from what I expected, but I guess again I learn to heed the phrase "expect the unexpected". ;)
You know those times when you feel like you're soaring, in awe, and feel such tight nearness with the Lord and things are going well? That's where I was at when I first got home this summer. God had blessed me with a truly incredible semester where I learned so much, and I just felt like I was soaring, and I was so excited to see what He would do this summer. Literally the day after I got home from school I got on my knees and I begged God to humble and refine me. My wisdom and experience in the Christian life may not be much, but I certainly know enough, and know myself well enough to know that in the times of coming out of a season where God has worked mightily, and I've felt closer to Him than I ever have before that pride can rear it's ugly head, and quickly too. So I prayed God would humble me, refine me, and make me a weak thing so that His glory could be more greatly displayed.
Well, you know what God was VERY faithful to answer that prayer, and quickly too. Very timely He provided at job for me at a little general store and deli place less than five minutes from my house. And if you knew where I lived you would know that the fact that it was so close to my house was almost a miracle in itself (I basically live at the foot of a mountain). I had been praying for that specific job, because I thought it would be so much fun. I was picturing myself working in a cheerful little store and deli, and meeting all kinds of happy vacationing people who want to enjoy the beauty of the northern California mountains. Needless to say it didn't quite turn out that way at all. I did not realize that part of my job would be selling lottery tickets, nor did I realize that the majority of the people who would come in would be either very sad looking eldery people who would spend a ridiculous amount of money on the lottery, or unhappy eldery people who would want to know my whole life story and complain about all the "local gossip." Then on top of that were the creepy and inappropriate comments I would get because I'm a young woman. Now, if that wasn't enough to be far from what I expected it turned out that all my coworkers were older woman, two of whom did not get along at all, and one of whom did not like me at all either even though I'd honestly done nothing to earn her dislike. She was a very unhappy person, and I never heard a positive word come out of her mouth. It was so sad.
So, as you can imagine my job was very difficult and challenging. I was also working the opening shift, which threw my whole sleep schedule off so it made for me feeling tired almost all the time. As all this began to unfold, and I saw my summer turning in a direction far from what I had wanted or expected it was much harder to trust and praise the Lord, then it had been when I had first gotten home from school and all things were going well. And in the midst of it I had forgotten what I had prayed just the day after I got home from school, so I did not see how God was working to answer exactly what I had prayed. I began to really struggle with having joy, and I was often frustrated thinking "why Lord, why this job? This isn't how my summer was supposed to turn out." I was struggling to trust His goodness, and I complained sometimes verbally, but more so in my heart. And it did not please God, thankfully He was gracious to convict me quickly and turn my heart continually back to Him. In His goodness, grace and immense love He reminded me of what I had prayed at the beginning of the summer, and showed me just how He was being so faithful to answer it. Even though my job really was pretty awful God sustained me through it, He sustained me through the tiredness, He showed me the true sadness and emptiness of a life lived without knowing Him, He convicted my heart even more for a compassion and love for the lost, He showed His love and grace in ways that I would not have seen or known if I hadn't had that job, as crummy as the job itself might have been, and I know He will continue to show His love and grace by renewing and restoring my mind from all the yuck I heard while working there.
He has been faithful, even when I did not trust in Him, because it is who He is and He does not change, praise Him for that. He has displayed His love, grace and goodness to me even more intimately by sustaining me, protecting me, and letting me see just how faithfully He answers prayer. If that isn't enough in His goodness and sovereignty He has provided a way for me to go on a trip with my family this summer. I didn't think I was going to get to go on any trips this summer, and since June my heart has been aching to be able to go on a family vacation, because those are some of the sweetest times I have had with my family. God in His love has made that possible, and in His perfect timing He's given it to me now, when I'm finished working for the summer, and truly look forward to a week with my family and time to spend away, to rest, and to refresh at His feet away from the usual routine. It is His perfect timing, and such a display of His love and grace! I look forward to this next week in one of the most beautiful regions, that I love dearly (the Oregon and Washington coast) with my family.
Hmmm, He is so good! Just thought I'd give you an update on my summer. I love this quote by John MacArthur, "How magnificent of a revelation does it take for you to be “awestruck” at God’s splendor and glory? What simple, basic, everyday things are ready examples of His greatness, though disguised as something ordinary and insignificant?" I don't want to miss His greatness and glory displayed, I want to be in awe, because He daily displays His greatness and glory. Oh for grace for eyes to see it, and for a heart that continually seeks it!
"Great are the works of the Lord,
studied by all who delight in them."
-Psalm 111:2
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